Discover the secrets of the touch-free, energetic breathwork orgasm.
I became curious about energetic breathwork in my early 20s when, during a regular massage, I had one of the most delicious orgasms I’d ever experienced. How was it possible to have an orgasm without any genital contact, I wondered. On doing some research, I discovered that you can actually have an orgasm without any physical touch at all. The pleasure centres activated in someone who used breath and visualisation to reach orgasm are exactly the same as in someone who reached orgasm via physical stimulation, which is why studies even show that women with spinal cord injuries can still experience orgasm.
We are not just physical beings, we are energetic beings, too. We can’t see the energy, any more than we can see the energy that runs a household appliance, but we know it’s there because we can see the effects when that energy is turned on, especially when sexual energy comes into play. When you become aroused you can feel the movement of expanding energy between your legs – it’s almost as if your genitals are their own person, coming to life.
If, however, your energy is not flowing freely through your body, and you have energetic blocks due to stuck emotions or unresolved pain, you’ll feel tired and sluggish, you’ll be more prone to illness, and you’ll almost invariably have a low libido. Sexual energy is our life force energy: it’s what created us. The problem is, many of us are taught from a young age to disconnect from our sexual selves, perhaps even see it as shameful, and whether it’s conscious or not that social conditioning will seep into your life and shut you off from your internal energy source.
Energetic breathwork can reconnect you with that source. When we get close to orgasm our heart rate increases, so we take short, shallow breaths which suffocate sexual energy. If, however, we breathe right down into the genitals with slow, deep breaths, this fans the flames from within. Tuning in to the energy of the breath effectively awakens every cell in the body to pleasure. Consider the Taoist saying: “The mind moves, and the chi follows.” In other words, you can learn to use your breath to move energy around your body – even scientific experiments confirm increased neural and muscular activity in areas where a person focuses their attention.
Awaken the zone
To build the neural pathways needed to experience energetic orgasms, first invest time in breathing deeply and becoming aware of subtle feelings: spend 30 minutes a day breathing intimately into your body, focusing on letting go and connecting with every sensation - simply notice what you notice. With practice and patience, you will feel the energy start to move and ripen, and once you awaken your own energetic pleasure centres, you’ll be better able to merge with a partner in deep intimacy. The great Tao teacher Mantak Chia says he can make love to his wife while sitting across the room from her. Ultimately that’s what is possible, when you learn how to reconnect with your own energetic frequency.
Tamra Mercieca is Sexpo’s Relationship and Sex therapist, author of the Getting Naked book series and founder of Getting Naked, where she runs courses on learning to love you! www.gettingnaked.com.au